There Is Hope for recovery!
I had battled with anorexia for over 12 years and was told that I will never recover. I am glad to say that they were wrong! I have made a full recovery alone…as even my doctors and family gave up on me.
I am writing this blog because I want to give you hope; it is possible to be fully recovered!
You do not have to believe the “voice” that tells you that you do not deserve to live! You may not be in control right now ( even though you think you are) because your ED has taken the control out of your hands. But you need to know that you can choose to fight back!
If you are somebody who cares for a loved one who has an eating disorder I want to tell you not to give up hope! You need to understand that the person with an eating disorder is not defined by the eating disorder. Your lovely daughter/ son/wife/husband or friend is still there, just locked away by ED. If you want to be helpful please, see the person and not the eating disorder! I know, this is difficult and most challenging, but believe me that it can help the person to fight back, you can actually give power!
I am longing to bring some awareness about the stigma that is out there about ED and ED sufferers. I want to stop all of them! I want people to wanting to see and hear the truth about Eating Disorder. Because those who are suffering deserve to be respected and accepted and above all to be loved!
I still remember the day when somebody asked this question: “Oh, when will you stop this hobby of yours?” That person actually thought that starving myself was simply a hobby, something that I have chosen to do, for fun.
I have to tell you, it was not fun! I was dying but not just my body but my soul. Actually, I was dead inside and I couldn't care less when I was told that I can die in a few days. The painful truth was that my days were numbered and that worried my parents. However, it did not make me wanting to fight. In fact, it made me to want to die even more…I thought my parents and others around me will be better off without me…after all I am just a burden to them. I think not many people get this but to tell somebody with an eating disorder that their look or their illness is causing their environment pain, making others' life miserable…etc. These comments are not helpful. Comments like that are captured word by word by the eating disorder and ED is throwing them back at the sufferer over and over again, so to remind them how bad and unworthy they are which then encouraging the sufferer to torture himself/herself even more.
eating disorder is not about “look”, I wish it could be understood! I find the belief that having an eating disorder is about wanting to look beautiful, most upsetting and misleading.
I believe that eating disorder is about hunger for love. For some reason those people who develop an Eating Disorder believe that they are not worth to be loved but, they are longing to be loved,although even that very thought of wanting to be loved gives a sense of guilt. As ED is rebuking the person instantly : “you do not deserve to be loved…..who do you think you are?"…
On my long journey to recovery I had to learn that I can”want”. I know, this might sound silly but those of you who are battling with an eating disorder sure to understand me exactly.
Please, remember that full recovery is possible and it is available for you! I am a living example of it!
If you want me to help you through your journey or you might want to help somebody and you want to understand a little more about what it is like to live with anorexia,please write in the comment box below.
I will continue this blog and tell you how I won the battle against anorexia and how I arrived at the place where I wanted to fight back.
Living with ED is a very lonely place to be…no matter what kind of ED you are struggling with. Please know that you are not alone, I am here to help you. Reach out because you are worth it! And if you think :” but you don’t know what kind of person I am”. Try me!
You are right! I may not know you but one thing I know and that is that you were born to be a unique individual for a purpose, and I believe that is not to be destroyed by ED!
Let yourself hope, because an ED free life is available to you and waiting for you too!
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