Thursday 22 December 2016

You cannot choose to have an eating disorder but you can choose to fight against it!


                         It's your battle, your fight and your victory!

 You might have heard people saying: " you chose it for yourself"! 
As, if those who suffer from a severe headache, just as an example, have chosen it for themselves....
Having an eating disorder is not something that you can just choose. That is why it is a mistake to believe that anybody could " just get over it"!

 When I lived with anorexia for over 15 years, I was told that it was just a kind of hobby...and I chose it purely to annoy my parents and friends. I was told that all those around me, suffered a great deal, because of me.....and I was asked if I would please stop this such a nuisance game of mine.

 Now, as a therapist, when the relatives of somebody with an eating disorder tell me how hard it is for them to watch their beloved ones struggle. ( which no doubt must be devastating.) I ask the question, whether they have actually considered how hard and difficult it must be for their loved one, who is living with the diseases. ( Let's agree with the fact that it is hard for both the sufferers and the carers.)
Recently, somebody told me that:" Gosh, it must be so difficult to help somebody with an eating disorder!"
My instant reply was: " Not as difficult as living with an eating disorder!"

Whether you have an eating disorder or you know somebody who is struggling with it right now, one thing you have to accept is, that the eating disorder is an illness! And it is real!
An illness that nobody can just pick and choose. It is not your fault to have it. It is not a "dieting that went wrong"....nor it is a matter of wanting to be pretty!
Believe me, when you have an eating disorder, you think anything but yourself being pretty!

There are many people out their with body image issues and I think I can even say that that there is no one person on this earth who would have never experienced body dissatisfaction at some point in their lives. However, they have still not ended up with an eating disorder. There are also people who strife to be pretty and beautiful but have never lived with an eating disorder.

We may not fully understand and know why and how people develop an eating disorder, but the truth of the matter is, it is an illness. And a very serious one!

Those who are suffering, experience a tremendous amount of emotional and most cases physical pain. The sufferer will not talk about it, nor would he/ she like the disorder being taken away from they believe that this is the only way that they must or can live.

If you are battling with an eating disorder right now, then you are going to understand exactly what I am about to say. It is basically a " love -hate" relationship.

Your eating disorder serves a purpose in your life. Therefore, it makes you strongly believe that you need it. 

However, it is a lie! Nothing that your eating disorder is promising you will ever going to happen. The only thing will remain is that you carry on existing and not living the life that you're meant to live.

You see, I get believe you need Ed. because you cannot even remember life without Ed. And your Ed. seems to protect you from things that part of the 'real world' that you are so fearful of. With Ed. you can just watch the world go by because Ed. can offer you can make you feel that time has stopped. And this feels soothing and comforting. After all, how would even your day start without your eating disorder?

However, the truth is that your Ed. is also tormenting you with its constant voice in your head. Playing games with your painful memories, keeping your thoughts trapped and focused on only the negative. Ed. seems to know what to say when you are thinking about food...Ed. knows what to do with the food you are about to eat. Ed. knows how to focus and believe the negative thoughts about yourself. Ed. knows what you are going to choose and who you are going to listen to. Your eating disorder can train you to be the best in how to disguise the truth about your feelings, thoughts and actions.  Ed. knows how to twist words in your head until you have a completely different meaning of them. 
Ed. knows how to direct your focus so you can hate yourself,  punish yourself and how to make you and stop you from crying. 
Ed. knows how to pull you to the left and right at the same time.
  Despite, all the misery and sadness and pain that Ed. gives, Ed. convinces you that you are better of with IT than without fact, you believe that there is no way to live without your eating disorder!

But please hear me out! There is a way! 

The way by no means is easy, but it is do-able and you can do it too!

All you need to do is: choose the fight! You need to make a decision to choose life! To live the life that you want to have.
There is nobody who can do for your recovery as much as you can. 

It is your fight and your recovery.

 Nobody will ever be able to take away your achievement. Your victory will be yours forever.

Please, Believe me when I say this:" you have everything that it takes to recover!" All this time you have put all your energy and power to follow your disorder, now you can use the same energy and power towards your recovery and once you start doing that you will be unstoppable!

Do I hear you say that, "but how do I start?". 

You can start with one step at the time. 

 First and most important step: accept that you have got the eating disorder's grip on you. Accept that you are not in control over your eating, no matter how long you've believed that you were.
Reach out for support, do not feel you have to do it alone. As I've said you have all the power that you need to fight against your disorder, but still it is good to have a supportive network, where you feel safe, being understood and empowered.
Look for support until you find the one that is the best for you! Because you are worth it!

Make a decision today, put on your armour and get ready to fight for your life!

You can seek for help on We are based in Vancouver BC. Canada. Online therapy is also available no matter where you are in the world.