Friday 15 December 2017

What you need is not a “ new you” but to embrace “You” in 2018!

Probably you have noticed one of those advertisements with the suggestions that you need a "new you" -New Year, New You!- they say.

How do you feel about this suggestion, does it fill you with excitement ? Or perhaps it gives you feelings mixed with dread and shame. To propose that you need a “new you” suggests that you are not good enough. Since you already feel not good enough about yourself the suggestion that there can be a new you, might sound inviting. 
But hang on, how many times have you tried to get to that “new you”? Take a step back and think about what happened the last time when you've tried to change yourself because you felt bad about yourself....
 If you are similar with most of us, you might had some disastrous result with all that changing business. 

I wonder, if you know why...(?)

This is what I’ve realised when I tried to become the new me. 
 Firstly, I cannot make a positive change out of something that is fuelled by self-hatred and negative self-talk.

When you want to change the most important thing that you need is encouragement, positive support and love. 
If you are blessed with loving people around you,  you may have the right support system, But even if you have all that love and support from the outside but you still have those negative self-talks on your inside, you will find that the only thing that is going to change is the level of your frustration with yourself. 

My second big discovery was, that I actually did not need to become "new"!
 Yes, I needed some change in my life..and I believe I will always have something that needs to be improved.

However, it is not to become the “new me” that would change all those things that needed to be improved in my life. I have habits that need to change and I can do that with one step at the time. And that has nothing to do with me becoming something that I am not. If anything, I need to be me, so that I can take full ownership over my achievements. 

I encourage you to instead of fighting becoming a 'new you', to embrace and accept yourself first! That is crucial for improvement. When you accept all the qualities that you have you will be able to see yourself with compassion and love. Self compassion is an important element of self esteem. Once you believe in yourself which has nothing to do with ability but more so being available to embrace yourself and whatever else is coming with it, then you can take steps in a new direction. And that would change those habits and qualities that you would like to change. 

You will be able to do it for the only reason that matters and that is You! Not because of what other’s think or what comes from society but because of what you want for your own self. And that might be; is to have a happier, fuller and healthier life.

Get excited about those new steps, and pat yourself on your shoulder because you've not just recognised that you need to take new steps and perhaps a different path in your life, but because you are willing and ready to do so!

So, embrace yourself and own who you are and if you want to improve do it, because you want it, and not because you are manipulated into thinking that you are not enough. 
                                             Who You are is good enough!

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